| Sting - Fields of Gold |
[May. 25th, 2012|04:58 pm] |
It was just one summer, but it was a very positive experience, and has stayed in my heart ever since.
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| wifeboinc |
[May. 22nd, 2012|12:11 pm] |
wifeboinc after 2am non-consensual being forced awake by our youngest child.
Started with anal, did that for a while to good effect for both, then missionary, to climax with egg vibe for added desired strong sensations.
Both of us tired, but in a good way. Seems to have been an icebreaker encounter, and vibe is much more friendly today. |
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| wifeboinc |
[Mar. 11th, 2012|08:25 am] |
wifeboinc
Wife initiated. Was a get-right-to-it vanilla missionary one. Happy ending for both. |
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| NY Times article - "When Sex Leaves the Marriage" |
[Jan. 14th, 2012|08:27 am] |
"Married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, a little more than once a week, according to data collected from the General Social Survey, which has tracked the social behaviors of Americans since 1972."
BWAH HAHA HA HA HA. Even when my wife and I were dating, the sex was maybe as often as every 2wks. But for love, we always focus on the positive, and think the things that do not seem right "will get better".
"And it’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage."
Ah! I guess I could count my blessings that things for my wife and I are not at this level yet, but as of right now I have no interest to keep asking for sex, feel too resentful. I am curious to see if it can get to the point of quarterly sex, then biannual sex, or maybe just go to a sexless marriage.
"And there are people who have very low sex drives, and may even be asexual. They may have some sex with their partners to begin with, but it becomes unimportant to them (and usually not so unimportant to their spouses)."
This seems to be my wife.
"There is a feedback relationship in most couples between happiness and having sex. Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being."
This seems to be true for me.
"the ideal level is what both partners are happy with — and when one (or both) are unhappy, then you can have marital problems."
"In my studies, as well as others, people in sexless marriages report that they are more likely to have considered divorce, and that they are less happy in their marriages.I know that this may not be a popular idea with the religious and political right, but it may be a better solution than staying in a marriage that is hurtful and unfulfilling.
Some of our former respondents have kept in touch with me, and the happiest ones are actually those that have moved on to other partners. It may be that lack of sex is a signal that all intimacy in a marriage is over, and that both would be happier in other situations."
Wierdly, EXCEPT FOR THE LACK OF SEX, my marriage is tolerable, even while it is a struggle. We mostly get along, we still mostly focus on keeping the kids happy. We mostly do not actively attack each other, and we both seem to be trying to keep civil/pleasant/nice with each other, although from her, in a completely chaste way. We still cuddle during sleep, even if it is in a totally chaste way.
I know society does not probably find a fair cause for divorce that there was low sex frequency. I do not, in my own heart, feel it is good enough reason to totally mess up my kids (divorce usually is very hard for young kids, and mine are in elementary school and younger).
Usually people divorce over justifiable heavy reasons: cheating, money, abuse.
And yet, no sex is kind of a 'breech of contract' on a marriage. No one has it in their vows, but sex is part of the deal of being married. Breach of contract for a marriage is divorce. A wife that doesn't want to have sex with you is rejection. It ruins self-esteem.
Ideally, I simply want to be able to have sex, even with another partner, or partners, and not damage anything else about my marriage, in a "don't ask, don't tell" way of total discretion. I am not interested in being mean or cruel to my wife.
I AM interested in having my wife recognize that sex is part of a healthy life, and if sex isn't happening, it is not okay with me. I want regular sex.
I don't want my wife to have sex with me out of a sense of duty. (Resentful sex? Ew.)I want sex with someone that wants to have sex with me, say, every week or every two weeks, with regularity.
I would simply say "I am going out with a friend for dinner" and be truthful. Dinner and sex. Or I could simply say "I am going out to lunch with a friend" and be truthful. Lunch and sex.
If she wants to have other sex partners as I want, that would be _fine_ with me (though I would be very shocked, as I currently assume she has a low sex drive, and the low sex drive would be to everyone.) I have a cuckoldry fetish afterall, and my wife getting fucked by others is a turn on... as long as I am getting regular sex, too.
As of today, if and only if it wouldn't screw up my kids, I would rather give up all my material things, be divorced and poor (because alimony and three kids will probably drain me financially) but have a great sex life and partner(s) that are into me.
Why? Because it is better to be happy. It is healthier to be happy.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/03/when-sex-leaves-the-marriage/ |
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| 2011 - Marital sexual frequency |
[Jan. 2nd, 2012|05:56 pm] |
This one is still a source of a bit of sadness for me. According to my LJ entries, sex with wife for 2011: 12. 2011-12-30
11. 2011-12-13
10. 2011-10-02
9. 2011-08-28
8. 2011-08-07
7. 2011-07-31
6. 2011-07-29
5. 2011-07-02
4. 2011-06-05
3. 2011-04-10
2. 2011-03-21
1. 2011-02-26
---------------------------- Total times I had sex for 2011: 12. |
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mrflash626's journal
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